At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
