4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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