I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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