he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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