Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize