Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
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