thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
i believe in u and ur pee
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
