i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
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