i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
