:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
