thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
