So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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