First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
