I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Randomize
