Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
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