Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize