I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
