you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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