i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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