Three words: puerto rican gang bang
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
