What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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