..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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