Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
