I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
