Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
