THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
