Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
