Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
