So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize