I showed him my bush... on skype.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
