I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
