The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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