ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Randomize
