gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
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