Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize