4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
