I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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