I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
