I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
