I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
