Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize