Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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