i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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