I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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