I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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