For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
