singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
