I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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