i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
