even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
