I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
