god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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