i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
