No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
